The Road to .500

Man this sucks. I didn’t see this coming, I should of seen this coming but I really didn’t. Here we are, starting week 4 and the Eagles are 1-2. Just barely. As optimistic as the coaches and players talk about how the Eagles are just a few plays away from 3-0 the exact argument could be made that they could just as easily be 0-3.

Call me a Negadelphian (ya know, if you’re an asshole who enjoys trite expressions) but I don’t see things changing on a short week despite, Pederson surprisingly, going undefeated on short weeks. I don’t know if a bye week would change anything. The fact is right now the Eagles suck.

I don’t like saying that, #ILoveEagle. I’m currently wearing Eagles socks, in my Eagles robe, sipping Irish coffee out of my Eagles mug and telling my dog to shutup while he wears his Eagles collar. Sorry, It can’t be denied. Right now the Eagles suck.

Injury sure has much to do with it. DJax and Jeffery play and all the sudden nobody is relying on Agholor to make game winning catches. Goedert doesn’t re-injure his calf and game plans don’t get made on the fly. Cox, Darby being fully recovered from previous injuries and maybe the defense looks much different. Jackson and Jernigan don’t get injured maybe they can give Cox time to work through it.

Darby has been particularly bad. He has been exhibit #1 in the case that being healthy enough to go doesn’t mean you are physically up to the task. He has been getting picked on more than any other starting CB in the league. With good reason. Its a very simple equation even Matt Patricia could understand.

His game is speed + He has no speed = Throw his way

So it’s no surprise that his recent injury is being seen by many as a blessing in disguise. The secondary will now be the Jones & Douglas show. Will that look better? There is some reason to be optimistic about Douglas, who from what I heard at least 50 times in 20 days, came to camp ripped and in the best shape of his life. He has his own issues but has at least been a bit of a ball hawk in his limited time starting in the NFL, and even more so in college. The potential is there. Jones is all potential so we’ll see who gets picked on now.

Some turnovers will go a long way to masking their defensive deficiencies. Turnovers were the only reason the Atlanta game was close.

The DL is a different story. Malik Jackson is out for the year, joining Mike Wallace from last year in the Highly Anticipated Free Agent Signing that Ultimately Crapped Out Immediately Club (or HAFASUCOIC… for short) Jernigan is gone at least 4 more weeks, probably 6. No help is coming. Barnett is playing hurt. Is Graham even playing? Hard to tell sometimes.

The LB’s get back KGH. Hopefully his absence has affected the Defense as much as his training camp hype would suggest. Bradham and Brown have been playing well enough. Gerry continues to have all the athletic skills with zero defensive awareness or discipline, so even if KGH is somewhat limited that will have to be an upgrade

Special teams has been shitting the bed. They didn’t lose the game but it would help if they could make a tackle.

I don’t know what else to say. The Eagles need this win but it’s hard to imagine this torture isn’t going to go another week minimum. Green Bay has their own issues but scoring more points than their opponents hasn’t been one of them so far.

The Eagles need to find a way to get it done tonight. I’m no math wiz but 2-2 is much better than 1-3. I can even do some other math. Green Bay, Detroit and Atlanta are all NFC teams, with realistic playoff hopes. 1-3 in the conference isn’t a great tie-breaker formula.

After last year it would be foolish to say a 1-3 start would be the end of the season but it would certainly be a very steep hill to climb. Being in a position where we are routing for other teams to lose the last two weeks of the season is bad, mmk. Its bad.

So Eagles, if you’re listening.

Stop Sucking. Stop it! Catch a damn ball, make a fucking sack, get off a damn block, cover a receiver. Look at teams that don’t suck and try to emulate them. Stop planning out your celebrations and start trying to do a couple things worth celebrating. Thanks.

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